Quiet Leadership - Lessons from the Carlo Ancelotti's book.

For some time now I wanted to write a book review on Mr. Carlo Ancelotti's book on quiet leadership. I've been a big fan of Mr. Ancelotti since I was a kid and he managed AC Milan. And being a Madrid fan, I really enjoy and respect his craft.

I've read this book a few times, and I always recommend it to people whenever we talk about leadership.

Introduction

The book talks about Mr. Ancelotti's leadership style, how he works with different people, how he influences them, and how he manages the team, especially during tough times.

He introduced the concept of Quiet Leadership -- a cool and calm way of management that allows people to do their best work by supporting them with his hands-off approach that enables people to be more comfortable and creative.

The Leadership Arc

In his book, Mr. Ancelotti talked about how he used the concept of leadership arc. It's a concept that resonated with me very well, especially looking back at my career so far.

The Courtship Phase: when you are just starting out a new job. People are excited and eager to have you on board. You are looking at all the opportunities and potential to make a difference.
Then comes the Honeymoon Phase: when everyone gives you the time to establish your presence.

After that comes the Success and Stability Phase: when you are now part of the team and are at the top of the curve.

Later comes the Breakup Phase: when you start feeling out of sync and decide to leave.

Or as Mr. Ancelotti put it:

"Sometimes you leave on your own terms, sometimes you don't. That's football, just as it is in business."

Looking at this, it describes almost every job I've had. Especially being an early engineer of two exited startups. You get to experience the change from just a small team that's working closely together doing tons of different things to a large corporation with complex hierarchy and politics.

Quiet Observations

The book described a core pillar of quiet leadership: Quiet Observations. Mr. Ancelotti stressed the importance of quiet observations before actions. This is one of the most important traits in great leaders. There are a lot of managers and leaders that jump to reactions immediately. They don't take the time to observe and understand the situation.

Personally, I learned this the hard way. Early in my career, I was known for having a short fuse and jumping to reactions immediately. This was usually very tiring and stressful not only for me but for the people around me.

Most of the mentors that I asked about this problem recommended Crucial Conversations. I've read this book twice, and I totally understand why it's a bestseller.

This is the kind of book that HR professionals would recommend. It has a lot of shortcomings. It uses language that if a normal human used it in a "crucial conversation" would be very awkward and pretentious.

In fact, the Quiet Observation concept is by far much more powerful than what this book offers.

Calm in the Chaos

Mr. Ancelotti -- beside all the trophies and the astonishing career -- is known for his calm and composure. He is a massive example of how leaders should stay calm under pressure, especially in high-stakes moments.

In the book, he stated how he uses clear and concise thinking over emotional reactions. While in my opinion, this is a hard emotional regulation skill to master, it's a great one that really affects any leader's ability to make the right decisions.

He also stressed how important it is to set up a transparent and blame-free environment that's focus-oriented. While this usually is hard to set up, especially in large companies, it's a great skill to even apply at a micro-level.

That being said, I've seen people take advantage of such an environment. Which in my opinion is what makes striking the right balance between a blame-free environment and responsible environment while being calm the hardest part of it.

The Quiet Leader

In the movie "The Godfather", Don Vito Corleone was a great example of a quiet leader. He was a great listener and observer; he never reacted to the situation. He always let the situation unfold and then he made his move. Mr. Ancelotti mentioned this as proof that while some people might think that a quiet leader is a weak one, it's actually the opposite. As he beautifully put it:

"When you watch Vito Corleone in The Godfather, do you see a weak, quiet man or do you see a calm, powerful man in charge of his situation?
My approach is born of the idea that a leader should not need to rant or rave or rule with an iron fist, but rather that their power should be implicit. It should be crystal clear who is in charge, and their authority must result from respect and trust rather than fear."

The book also explained how some mentors tried to argue this point and stressed that being tough and strict as a leader is the only way to be respected.

This is actually a very common opinion in the tech industry, especially if you are an IC. People usually choose being tough, strict, and sometimes rude as the way to be respected and enforce boundaries.

I've seen engineers that use their position to gatekeep and make things harder for other teams. This is probably more common than you would think. But I remember a friend of mine once told me that "Every other Principal engineer that he worked with was super rude with very high ego".

I don't think this is a good way to live. I would think approachability and quiet leadership is a much better way to enforce boundaries and get things done while being loved and respected.

And while some might argue that the first way is a more effective way to keep your job and keep people in line, I would think that the second one is a much more sustainable way to lead.

I would rather leave a job where people were happy to work with me than stay while people wish I was gone. And while people usually argue this with the job security point, I would imagine that good leaders (especially in tech) would more or less find a way to keep their job or find a new one.

Adaptability

The book also talked about how leaders should be able to adapt to different situations. This touches on the last point I mentioned. As a leader, I think it's very important to be able to adapt to different situations and setups. It's a hard-earned skill but it allows you to face different challenges and situations without your mental or social capacity taking a big hit.

Conclusion

This book is on the top of my most favorite books. I've read it a few times and I always learn something new from it. It resonates with me very well and I think it's a great book to learn from. Specially when you see Mr. Ancelotti's calm presence, you usually ask your self "how can I be more like him?".

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking to learn how great leaders think and act. As Mr. Ancelotti said in the book:

"Leadership can be learned but cannot be imitated."

I think there are great lessons to be learned from this book. It's not an easy task but with time and practice it could be a natural skill to develop.

Footnotes

The quotes used here are from the book "Quiet Leadership: Winning Hearts, Minds and Matches" by Carlo Ancelotti. All rights reserved to the book author(s).